God’s love – Musings of a "not so good" Christian

Lost

12/09/2016

Do you know what it feels like to not to know who you are? Do you know what it feels like to live in fear of being discovered, of being wrong, of not measuring up to standards set by society? I do. I subjected myself to the whim of everyone. Yet, I was a failure … More Lost

What We Focus On

11/08/2016

Here are three lists… The first is what the church (the more conservative Protestant and Catholic, focuses on… The second is what I think God focuses on… The Third is where this blog is going and what I will focus on.. THE CHURCH FOCUS Abortion Supporting LGBT discrimination Supporting gun rights Supporting the death penalty … More What We Focus On

The Burden Of…

16/05/2016

Recently it was brought to my attention that there is a “support group” the Buffalo NY area that is geared toward helping family and friends deal with “The Burden of ….” this particular issue. I find it fascinating that a religiously sponsored group can use the word “burden” to describe another group of people. I … More The Burden Of…

Alienation of the Heart

14/01/2016

I am sitting in front of my computer right now feeling a anxiety, a longing, a pressure on my chest. I want the words to describe the reasons for this, but they are slow in coming. Last night I cried to God. On one hand, I realized that I have been trying to find something … More Alienation of the Heart

My Journal

07/01/2016

Sadness, anger, doubt, loneliness, frustration, determination, failure, more failure, fear (much fear), pepper most of my entries. I have to admit I was somewhat taken aback at the depth of sadness weaving its way through some of my entries. … More My Journal

The Reality of My Unbelief

08/12/2015

As I move in the direction of life altering choice, I have been exposed to the reality of my unbelief as a believer. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…and He will make your path clear.” God will make everything clear. That is what I have been taught throughout my Christian journey, over and … More The Reality of My Unbelief

Hard Choices.

01/12/2015

As I have traveled this faith journey, I have made some discoveries about myself. Among them has been the realization that I have made choices that have not always been in my best interest, and I have made other choices to protect my fragile heart and ego. I have made choices that have manipulated others … More Hard Choices.

Unbalanced God

05/04/2014

I admit it, I am unbalanced. My moods fluctuate between dark depression and almost happiness. My self-image reflects both despising and exalting self. My actions fluctuate between self-serving egotism and verging on altruistic. My Christian life is a combination of saint and sinner and by far, more in the sinner category than the saint. I … More Unbalanced God

At The Cliff

30/12/2012

I think, no I am pretty certain, that Evangelicalism is standing on a precipice. Some, like one of my favorite writers, Becky Garrison, have written off this segment of the church as having died. She and others have good reason for that assessment. But I remain a tiny bit more optimistic. I believe that if the Evangelical … More At The Cliff

Schizophrenic Christianity?

11/08/2012

Earlier this week I had the pleasure of being a guest at a Christian festival close to where I live. After having attended several seminars, and a few concerts, I drove away at the conclusion Wednesday evening, confused. The concerts were exceptional, and there was a lot of energy, from both the performers and the audience. The lyrics in the songs … More Schizophrenic Christianity?