faith – Musings of a "not so good" Christian

Wasting Life

29/07/2019

I am 60 In October I will be 61 years old. This week I have my one year CT scan to make sure the cancer has not returned. I am feeling much regret. I regret not living life open and honest from the beginning when I first realized I was different. I regret lying to … More Wasting Life

September of Silence {D10}

11/09/2017

10 day into my social media fast… I have looked at Facebook several times I have looked at Twitter several times My justification is “at least I am not responding to posts and tweets.” I am deceiving myself. Just reading things sends my thoughts into so many directions. But when I am more focused… … More September of Silence {D10}

No Longer Evangelical

06/12/2016

3:00 AM 9 November 2016 Suddenly I am awake. Having gone to sleep around 10 pm the previous night, I awake with a feeling of dread. I went to sleep without turning on the election results because I knew. I just knew. I get … More No Longer Evangelical

Becoming…

12/10/2015

During my last visit with my Spiritual Director we reviewed the “homework” he had given to me the previous time we had met. That homework was to think about and bring a list of all the negative traits and habits that I have in my life. I was not really wanting to explore this part … More Becoming…

Wandering

14/07/2015

I am 56. At this point in life I should be pretty well established in a career, in friendships, in purpose. i should be anticipating retirement in a few years. In essence, I should know who I am. But…I don’t. So much of my life has been spent “trying to become”. Whether it was a better … More Wandering

What I (And You) Don’t Know About God

11/08/2014

There are hundreds of thousands of Evangelical Americans running around telling you, me, and a whole lot of other people what God is like, what He has done, who He is going to judge, and how it all ends. But here is the truth…no one really has absolute knowledge of any of it. And when we try … More What I (And You) Don’t Know About God

Prison Cell of Fear (A Personal Glimpse)

09/06/2014

The young man walked down the quiet tree-lined side street toward the college he attended. As he rounded the corner onto a busy thoroughfare he noticed about half a block away, on the same side of the street as he, several construction men working on the overpass he needed to cross. Instantly, the young man … More Prison Cell of Fear (A Personal Glimpse)

Silent

07/12/2012

God is silent. My few and futile prayers blown away by cold, winter wind. Never reaching the gilded throne room of my Creator. Do I know that He is there? Of course…most of the time. Have I abandoned by faith? No….but I admit that there is only a little of it. Almost eleven months ago I lost my … More Silent

Losing Focus…

24/08/2012

There are times when I post personal quandaries. This is one of them because I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment. This week my father entered to hospital with end stage Parkinson, pneumonia, congestive heart failure. He has very little time. We were never close, I guess partly my fault, partly his. I don’t remember when … More Losing Focus…

Really Free?

06/04/2012

I am in the process of reading a book by Steve Brown called “Three Free Sins”. It challenges many of the false concepts in Christianity that have become entrenched in Evangelical culture. I will write a complete review when I am done with it. Suffice to say, it will make you think about what you believe … More Really Free?