Wasting Life

I am 60 In October I will be 61 years old. This week I have my one year  CT  scan to make sure the cancer has not returned. I am feeling much regret. I regret not living life open and honest from the beginning when I first realized I was different. I regret lying to … More Wasting Life

Denying Me

For most of my life I have lived as if I am someone else. I have tried to live in a way that would keep people at a distance, keep from getting to know me too well. After all,  it is hard to hide when you get too close to others. I did find, for … More Denying Me

Where I am

  Right now as I sit in this cafe, a multitude of feelings stir inside me I can physically sense them, and there is much in conflict. Below are a few of the more persistent. Anxiety… because almost nothing in my existence is as I imagined it to be. Truth be told,  I never really … More Where I am

Lost

Do you know what it feels like to not to know who you are?  Do you know what it feels like to live in fear of being discovered, of being wrong, of not measuring up to standards set by society? I do. I subjected myself to the whim of everyone. Yet, I was a failure … More Lost