“You have a nodule in your lung.” my doctor commented after a routine chest x-ray revealed a shadow. “Not to worry though, many people have scar tissue in their lungs.”
Thus began a eight month journey that I had never expected at the beginning of 2018. Needless to say, I was somewhat anxious but I comforted myself with my doctor’s words “many people have scar tissue.”
Next came a CT scan. “Indeterminable,”was the answer from the doctor, “we will schedule a PET scan.” My anxiety began to rise.
Then a PET scan. “not really clear.” was the answer from the doctor, “but we are sending you to Roswell Park (a nationally renowned cancer hospital in Buffalo). My anxiety burned a hole in my chest.
Meeting with my cancer surgeon, “You have a carcinoid tumor in your lung. We will do luung resection surgery and remove only the tumor.” Terrified was the only word I could use to describe what I felt. I had never even been in the hospital before, let alone surgery.
One day before the surgery I took a walk with my dog through the cemetery behind the house where I live. There were two graves being dug that day. I thought that they would be digging a third soon, for me.
I don’t remember most of pre-op, the surgery, or the recovery room. I do remember the chest tube, the being awakened every couple of hours, and recovery. And I do remember not wanting to be in the hospital more than one day and happy to leave.
Recovery was two weeks and I was eager to return to my work.
Then my follow up appointment. My surgeon informed me that the type of cancerous tumor I had was rare and only showed up in 20% of patients…lucky me, I was one of them, (I would have preferred to win the lottery with those odds). “We will need to do another surgery and this time preform a lobectomy and remove the lower lobe of your right lung.” I cried that night, and fell into a dark, consuming depression, thinking that I was going to die.
Almost a month to the day I had my second surgery. This time I was in the hospital for three days and out of work for a month. Recovery was slower, but the love and support I had received from family and friends was amazing.
Last month I went to my Oncologist and she said there is no need for radiation, or chemotherapy, “you are cancer free. And it should not come back.” These are the words I was waiting to hear. Yet, always, and every day in the the back of my mind, a small voice whispers,”what if the cancer comes back?”
But God has given me a second chance, a new beginning, and has opened my eyes to all that I have. I have began to embrace living this new opportunity, and not just exist, taking my life for granted.
Good changes are coming, it is a new day.
Musings of a "not so good" Christian 
Dear Mark, Do you know I was thinking the other day about yourself and hoped you were fine and well, I am sorry you had to go through that scary journey of discovering you had cancer, then the gruelling treatment. It is so hard, I think, when such things happen because you never imagine it happening to yourself. It is great to hear your good news and I wish you joy and peace in your future journey in life and know you will continue to inspire and bring hope to so many.
’m so glad you are “baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack” with a passion and renewed faith in God. You are such a wonderful writer for one thing and the messed up Western church needs to heed your messages and hear your voice. I first came across your name a few months ago when I came upon your excellent treatise on “Let’s Pray For An End to Christian TV”. I agree that we still need to pray for an end to Christian television AS IT STANDS. All of the major and most influential networks are corrupt, mostly by “word of faith” heresies i.e. “seeding money for miracles”. That hearkens back to the Roman Church’s practice of paying to receive indulgences or favors from God. It is no different.
Do you ever wonder such a time as this, for example, when you were shut up in a hospital room with a television above you, how great it would be if there really were kosher Christian television networks for people who are shut-in such as the elderly. Or just for people who cannot find a kosher non-501c3 Church in their area. How nice it would be. I am in the latter category, so I often peek into Christian TV to see what they are up to and it is usually their same tired old shenanigans. It is so sad. Too, I am a firm believer in divine healing and am coming against all this “word of faith” nonsense from a Continuationist perspective, making it all the more frustrating. Where does one find a good non-cessationist Bible Church that is not infected by the “wof” heresies from the likes of Copeland, Dollar and the late Kenneth Hagin? These precious jewels are hard to find, but such Fellowship-jewels can be found usually in home groups by those who are True Seekers of the Way.
I thank the healing Yeshua for healing you and keeping you.
(This is the keeper. Please discard the first two, sorry there was no internal editing).
I’m so glad you are “baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack” with a passion and renewed faith in God. You are such a wonderful writer for one thing and the messed up Western church needs to heed your words and hear your voice. I first came across your name a few months ago when I came upon your excellent treatise on “Let’s Pray For An End to Christian TV”. I agree that we still need to pray for an end to Christian television AS IT STANDS. All of the major and most influential networks are corrupt, mostly by “word of faith” heresies i.e. “seeding money for miracles”. That hearkens back to the Roman Church’s practice of paying to receive indulgences or favors from God. It is no different.
Do you ever wonder at such a time as this, for example, when you were shut up in a hospital room with a television above you, how great it would be if there really were kosher Christian television networks for people who are shut-in such as those in-hospital and the elderly. Or just for people who cannot find a kosher non-501c3 Church in their area. How nice it would be. I am in the latter category, so I often peek into Christian TV to see what they are up to and it is usually their same tired old shenanigans. It is so sad. Too, I am a firm believer in divine healing and am coming against all this “word of faith” nonsense from a Continuationist perspective, making it all the more frustrating. Where does one find a good non-cessationist Bible Church that is not infected by the “wof” heresies from the likes of Copeland, Dollar and the late Kenneth Hagin? These precious jewels are hard to find, but such Fellowship-jewels can be found usually in home groups by those who are True Seekers of the Way.
I thank the healing Yeshua for healing you and keeping you.
(Typos corrected, Final Keeper :))