Do you know what it feels like to not to know who you are? Do you know what it feels like to live in fear of being discovered, of being wrong, of not measuring up to standards set by society?
I do.
I subjected myself to the whim of everyone. Yet, I was a failure in becoming what I thought people wanted me to be. I tried to fit. but in trying to fit, I lost me. And in trying to fit, I wasted so much of my life. The choices I have made, have been made to make others happy, and to prove that I am worthy of respect, acceptance, and love.
But I could not be what other people wanted.
In 1983 I had a spiritual encounter that changed the trejectory of my life. I entered my realtionship with God In the beginning it felt like there was finally acceptance and unconditional love from God and others.
Then I found out that was not how it was.
Musings of a "not so good" Christian 