This is how I feel most days.
I am an observer. I stand on the outside of a thick windowpane. I see life moving forward and people connecting. I see joy, laughter, peace, and contentment. I behold worshipers connecting with their God, singing their songs of praise and adoration, raising their hands in prayer. I watch people finding fulfillment in their careers, hobbies, and relationships. I survey couples in love, falling in love, two hearts becoming one flesh, the connection, the synergy, the melding of lives.
It is all there before my tear filled eyes, the emotions, the feelings.The things that turn existing into living. The things that bring passion, and meaning to the individual soul. I reach out to touch these things. To take them into my existence, to apply them to my heart but my fingers only touch to cold, unyielding glass that encases me.
I am merely a watcher of life as it moves by.
I stand on the outside.
*hugs*
I feel this way sometimes too.
thank you. and glad that i am not in these feelings alone. peace to you.
dear Mark and Godgirl- just remember that you are never truly alone though it feels that way- out there in the world are many, many, people feeling exactly just the same way- standing in the outside – looking in- I have been there – often-and- it takes courage to admit that- so I thank you both- if we could get all these people together- what an amazing hug!
I used to feel exactly as you do (and sometimes I still do). I won’t offer an “easy answer,” because I see that you’re trying, and you’re finding your own way. Stay on that road.
thank you for your support