Musings of a "not so good" Christian

I will get back to my Hell posts next time.

I wanted to take a moment today to talk about the New Year. Yea, I know EVERYONE is talking about the New Year. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WordPress are replete with status updates, tweets, photos of pithy quotes and blog posts about the freshness and newness of a clean New Years slate.

I even posted things as the clock struck 12:00 AM 1 January 2015. And made the boastful comment that, if God will’s it, this will be my “Best year ever!!”

But then the morning sun rises on day one of my ” best year ever” and I find I still have the same relational problems, the same debt, the same fears and self doubts and I realize that there is no magic in the sweep of a second-hand. I also know myself well enough to understand how easy it is to fall back into the same habits and patterns of the old year. All because it is more comfortable and self preserving than to tackle the hard things in life.

But this is where God comes into the picture.

This past fall, I went on a “mini” retreat, God spoke powerfully to me. You have to understand that before going I was at the point of actually doubting the Creators existence. But then He showed up, not with lightning bolts, an earthquake, or in a “slain in the Spirit” moment. Rather it was through the listening ear and wisdom of a Franciscan Friar, and a still small voice that came from within.

God affirmed me as me, as His created being even with all my weaknesses, faults, and failures. He explained away the cloud of regret that has hung over me for many years. He made sense of so much that didn’t make sense in my life. And He told me He loved me just as I am, not in spite of who I am.

And finally that His grace and unconditional love through Jesus is always enough to cover everything in my life.

So I go back to my proclamation that as He wills this will be my “best year ever”. It will be not because I am getting it all together, not because of my commitment to seeing it happen, not because I have a plan. Rather because in spite of all that will come this year, the very good and the very painful, His love and His grace will be there. And through it all He will sustain me.

And He will do the same for you too.

Happy New Year and may it be your “best year ever” too.