I am not a very good Christian. I mean, yea, I believe in Jesus and have gone to church most Sundays and for a while, most Wednesdays for well over 30 some years. I have been involved in lots of church activities and have gone to many a seminar, men’s retreats, even church vacations.
But I am not a very good Christian.
I fail to read my Bible for days on end, I don’t believe in a literal 6 day creation, although I do believe God created everything seen and unseen, I am not sure I believe the story of Noah, or Jonah as literal or more metaphorical. And I have jettisoned the Tim LaHaye end times fantasy, as just that, fantasy. I don’t pray enough, I hardly give anything, and I have a love/hate relationship with the church.
As far as my “sin life”, it seems to be alive and well and always looking for a way to sin more. When I was younger and newer in my faith I thought that I had it all down, that I would conquer sin in my life and that God, through the Bible could be understood almost completely. I don’t believe that anymore and I really have a hard time saying that my understanding of Jesus and God is closer to the truth than anyone else’s understanding of Jesus and God.
I recoil in embarrassment When some Christian “leader” gets on national TV and tells people his or her view of morality is true and everyone else is wrong. I cringe when Christians condemn and vilify the other by “speaking the truth in love”. I find that to be a most repulsive comment. It oozes with self edification and pride.
I am not a very good Christian.
But my loving and gracious Creator knew that. Long, long before my eyes were opened to the forgiveness and mercy of the cross, my Creator loved me with unconditional love. Before I swam within my mother’s womb, my Creator was joyfully singing over me as one of His precious children. From the moment I took my first breath, to the day I gasp my last, His love and grace flows over me. I belong to my Creator God who drew me to His immeasurable love and keeps me safe in His care. Knowing this allows me to live in freedom to make mistakes, to sin, to fall, and to have Him pick me back up again. This is not only for me, this is for all of us.
For we are all sinners in the Hand of a Loving God.