Can I be honest with you for a moment?
I am not a very good Christian. I mean, yea, I believe in Jesus and have gone to church most Sundays and for a while, most Wednesdays for well over 30 some years. I have been involved in lots of church activities and have gone to many a seminar, men’s retreats, even church vacations.
But I am not a very good Christian.
I fail to read my Bible for days on end, I don’t believe in a literal 6 day creation, although I do believe God created everything seen and unseen, I am not sure I believe the story of Noah, or Jonah as literal or more metaphorical. And I have jettisoned the Tim LaHaye end times fantasy, as just that, fantasy. I don’t pray enough, I hardly give anything, and I have a love/hate relationship with the church.
As far as my “sin life”, it seems to be alive and well and always looking for a way to sin more. When I was younger and newer in my faith I thought that I had it all down, that I would conquer sin in my life and that God, through the Bible could be understood almost completely. I don’t believe that anymore and I really have a hard time saying that my understanding of Jesus and God is closer to the truth than anyone else’s understanding of Jesus and God.
I recoil in embarrassment When some Christian “leader” gets on national TV and tells people his or her view of morality is true and everyone else is wrong. I cringe when Christians condemn and vilify the other by “speaking the truth in love”. I find that to be a most repulsive comment. It oozes with self edification and pride.
I am not a very good Christian.
But my loving and gracious Creator knew that. Long, long before my eyes were opened to the forgiveness and mercy of the cross, my Creator loved me with unconditional love. Before I swam within my mother’s womb, my Creator was joyfully singing over me as one of His precious children. From the moment I took my first breath, to the day I gasp my last, His love and grace flows over me. I belong to my Creator God who drew me to His immeasurable love and keeps me safe in His care. Knowing this allows me to live in freedom to make mistakes, to sin, to fall, and to have Him pick me back up again. This is not only for me, this is for all of us.
For we are all sinners in the Hand of a Loving God.
Musings of a "not so good" Christian 
Ach, Mark, I think you are one of the very best kind of Christians there is – and I am sure God understands exactly how you feel. We are all God’s bairns and no-one is left outside His love. Keep on writing and just being “you”
Thank you so much again for encouragement and love. I appreciate your words and wisdom so much. Peace to you.
You are so very not alone in this. Everything you’ve been writing describes my journey as well.
Thank you. Thank you for reading and thank you for your words. I am sure we can help each other in the navigation of life. I certainly cannot do it alone. Peace to you
Reblogged this on tbhenning23 and commented:
Many of things I honestly wish I had written first.
Thank you for reading and sharing it on your post. I look forward to reading your blog as well. Peace to you.