My moods fluctuate between dark depression and almost happiness.
My self-image reflects both despising and exalting self.
My actions fluctuate between self-serving egotism and verging on altruistic.
My Christian life is a combination of saint and sinner and by far, more in the sinner category than the saint.
I admit, I am a broken, weak, fallen, bruised, emotional hot mess most days.
If my relationship with the Creator depended upon me, I would have been kicked out of the House a long time ago.
But I am a child of an unbalanced God. A God of great and unending mercy, forgiveness, and grace. A God who loved me, who loved us, before we even considered the idea of loving back. A God who had forgiven over and over again. A God who forgave before we ever said that we were sorry and who has forgiven even our most egregious sins. Sins that we sometimes unintentionally, but mostly with great forethought , intentionally commit.
Yet He has already forgiven them.
The love of the Great Creator is perfect no matter how far or how badly I fall and then run from the House. This God, the perfect Parent, stands at the Door looking and waiting for me, with incredible compassion to come to my senses and return. And when I return, I am embraced tightly in the strong arms of grace.
The grace of God flows from the cross, the symbol of God’s ultimate sacrifice of love, in Jesus, for people who couldn’t care less about Him. That grace still fills the world, the universe today. That grace is experienced by every believer and every non-believer when we wake up in the morning, with the sun warming our skin and air filling our lungs. It is seen the beauty of all creation and in the magnificent creations of every artist. Grace is everywhere and sustaining everything.
I want to show that grace, that love to everyone. I want, not to dole out love and grace as a reward for good behavior, but freely and with great abandon to everyone…
Just like my Heavenly Dad.