I admit it, I am unbalanced. 
My moods fluctuate between dark depression and almost happiness.
My self-image reflects both despising and exalting self.
My actions fluctuate between self-serving egotism and verging on altruistic.
My Christian life is a combination of saint and sinner and by far, more in the sinner category than the saint.
I admit, I am a broken, weak, fallen, bruised, emotional hot mess most days.
If my relationship with the Creator depended upon me, I would have been kicked out of the House a long time ago.
But I am a child of an unbalanced God. A God of great and unending mercy, forgiveness, and grace. A God who loved me, who loved us, before we even considered the idea of loving back. A God who had forgiven over and over again. A God who forgave before we ever said that we were sorry and who has forgiven even our most egregious sins. Sins that we sometimes unintentionally, but mostly with great forethought , intentionally commit.
Yet He has already forgiven them.
The love of the Great Creator is perfect no matter how far or how badly I fall and then run from the House. This God, the perfect Parent, stands at the Door looking and waiting for me, with incredible compassion to come to my senses and return. And when I return, I am embraced tightly in the strong arms of grace.
The grace of God flows from the cross, the symbol of God’s ultimate sacrifice of love, in Jesus, for people who couldn’t care less about Him. That grace still fills the world, the universe today. That grace is experienced by every believer and every non-believer when we wake up in the morning, with the sun warming our skin and air filling our lungs. It is seen the beauty of all creation and in the magnificent creations of every artist. Grace is everywhere and sustaining everything.
I want to show that grace, that love to everyone. I want, not to dole out love and grace as a reward for good behavior, but freely and with great abandon to everyone…
Just like my Heavenly Dad.
Musings of a "not so good" Christian 
I love the contrast you present between our unbalanced bias for sin and God’s unbalanced bias for mercy. Thank you for your vulnerability.
Thank you so much. I am coming to realize more and more that I have nothing to do with my spiritual growth or maintaining my relationship with God. I am so thankful for that. Peace to you.
Well said.
Thank you…
Dear Mark – How good to have your wise words of wisdom.I always feel that even if my wee world seems at times to be falling apart, then Jesus will help me rebuild it again, in an even more wonderful way
In such a noisy, over-powering world, the still,gentle, loving voice of Jesus rises above all that disturbs and is so sad, offering us peace and ever-lasting love.
Thanks again Mark
thank you so much for your words. You are a constant encouragement to me. And you words are so true, Jesus does offer us peace and everlasting love in our broken worlds.
I continually try to figure out why people worry about being too gracious and not emphasizing judgment. Is this because we fear that we are always fearing we are hanging by a thread with God? If we mess up, we fear his anger and wrath? Do we not realize his grace is sufficient and always flowing?
I don’t know. But the more I get to know God, the more I realize I cannot do anything which will separate me from his love and his grace. I am drowning in his grace.
I wish I knew the answer to that question, I am afraid it may have something to do with a somewhat distorted presentation of the Gospel. And btw, I love your comment of “drowning in His grace”. Thanks for your friendship and encouragement.
The problem here is that grace is overemphasized and God’s righteousness and holiness is not. There needs to be balance.
Grace is what our whole relationship with God is based on Jason. There is no “balance” in God’s economy. God is still absolutely holy and righteous, and God gave that holiness and righteousness to us in Jesus. Thank God for that, for I will never be holy or righteous or perfect enough. Peace to you.
Either on the Cross God’s judgment was fully satisfied or not. God’s grace took the judgment for us. The Holiness of God combined with God’s Grace means God is seeking for our wholeness and reconciliation. God stands in our place to take the punishment we deserve.
And yet you think that it is unimportant to preach against sin and the consequences of rejecting Christ and His gift.
Jason I have yet to meet anyone who believed themselves to be perfect. Everyone knows we all fail and need forgiveness. The message of the Gospel is not “you are an awful, rotten sinner deserving Hell.” The message of the Gospel is that God loved his creation so much he walked among us, healed, and forgave us. Through the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Christ we know we are completely loved and forgiven. Would you like to know this complete and outrageous love and forgiveness in your life?
For one I kmow that loce and forgiveness. But I am not naive into thinking that there is no conseqences for my sinful behavior. And two recognizing that we ARE indeed
sinners deserving of eternal separation from God is part and parcel to tje gospel.of.grace.
correct–you realize it. Everyone knows they are sinners and that there are consequences. Stop beating up other people. They know they are sinners and they know there are consequences. Tell them the Good News instead!
Actually, most of them do not, or they revel and celebrate their sin in direct defiance of God, and they either do not know, nor care about the consequences.
Actually what we “need to do” my friend is to get back to loving people like God through Jesus does, unconditionally and with gracious abandon. Something American Christianity has forgotten how to do.
So this is why we need to get back to good old fashioned preaching from the pulpit. And I mean fire and brimstone type preaching.
Like all of Jesus’ fire and brimstone sermons Jason?
The consequences of sin, the eternity in hell (you so passionately want to tell people about) has been dealt with at the cross of Jesus. There is nothing you can do in this life to gain more favor, more love, more grace or mercy from the Creator. You have full possession of it today in Jesus. I wish more than anything Jason that you could see how deeply God loves, and how in His wisdom, mercy and grace is drawing people to Himself. He doesn’t need us to tell people they are going to hell because they are sinners. Rather He wants us to love them unconditionally in spite of their “sin”. Telling someone they are an abomination, or lost, or every a sinner is NOT the loving thing to do.
Thanks Leanne, love the thoughts you presented here.
I don’t think that I have said anything like that Jason. But I don’t think that is my focus. Perhaps it is yours so feel free to start your own blog and share all you like there. My blog hopefully ministers to people that have had a less than ideal encounter with the church, people who have been beat up, marginalized, and vilified. It is my hope that they will find the grace, and forgiveness, restoration and healing that the Gospel of God through Jesus offers. Peace to you.