day 46…the journey continues


Well after a couple of weeks of illness and life I can finally continue on this quest to find…something.

It used to be so easy when I first became a “born again”. Everything was so black and white.  Secular music was “the devil”, Hollywood was filled with anti-Christian bigots producing smut and lies, so going to the movies was out because, “What if Jesus came back while I was sitting in a movie theater?”  Worldly books and magazines were not honoring to God and filled my mind with useless information.  Having a job was a good thing since it paid bills but what I did at church had  much more of an eternal impact, and being a missionary or a preacher was the highest calling one could have. 

Then of course there were the black and white social issues and there were really only three that really matter to the world of “Christendom”… Abortion, for any reason, was murder…homosexuals were evil perverts out to convert my kids to the sodomite lifestyle and AIDS was God’s judgment…and all good Christians were also very patriotic (and republican too).

Christians back in those first days of my conversion seemed to have all the answers, and stood for what was right and true and holy and just. The Bible was inerrant, Jesus was coming back in the style of the movie “Distant Thunder” or Tim Lahayes’  “Left Behind”. And there was only one right way to look at Scripture.

I now see that I was lied too.

 If God is God then music is a gift from Him and there may be truth and beauty in music that does not sing “Jesus” in every verse. If God is God then there are movies that communicate real truth about life and relationships and emotions without having a guy running around in a robe and sandals. If God is God then there are authors that can write about things that are true without quoting a passage if scripture in the margin. If God is God then all work is holy, all work is important. If God is God then His concern for the world is not just limited to abortion, homosexuality, and the republican party (which does NOT speak for God at all).  What about poverty, social justice, and the environment?

I have found out that there are several ways of looking at Scripture, and not all of them are heretical.  I have also found out that there are some things that you cannot answer completely when it comes to the Bible such as why are there two creation stories, why did God kill kids and women, why did He condone marriage to multiple partners, and why does it seem that the Bible at times portrays two very different deities?  And why does He seem so silent?

What I have found out is that there are no easy answers, but there are people in the church that want to have all the answers so they  pretend.  And the masses of followers hang on to their every world and never question.

Oh,  for the days of ignorant faith.


7 thoughts on “day 46…the journey continues

  1. When it comes to church, ignorance is bliss!!!! The less you know about its leaders the better off you are!!! I SO wish I could go back in time and never ever get involved in/with anything that has to do with church leadership!!!!

  2. I too feel I was lied to and that “American Christianity” continues to lie to us. Christians are just as broken as the world. And we can choose to be comfortable in the ignorance and the brokenness of the systems we live in. I choose not to dwell on the brokenness but on the One who was Broken so I may be whole. I still am broken and still am hurt by those who are broken. But I have yet to see hope in anything the world has to offer.

  3. Thank goodness God is a Democrat…or a liberal….or some combination.

    I was talking with a friend of mine about these sorts of issues the other day and he made an excellent point. I liked the way he put it so here it is…If the Bible, Christianity, Christ, etc were black and white and obvious, then where would faith come into the equation? I don’t think people (the church) is necessarily always out to ram Christianity or their version of it down people’s throats…they just don’t know any better. They are sinners too, just like us. They interpret scripture too, just like us. Should we say we are “enlightened” to the concept of grace, or accepting those who the church has traditionally said are untouchable or at least their lifestyle i.e., homosexuals, pregnant teenagers, skinheads, alcoholics, those who cheat on their spouses, the list goes on? I don’t know…I feel, often, that i could walk away from church and never look back, but I don’t think it’s cool to hate on it…or it’s leadership.

    I hate proofreading so I don’t know if what I said made any sense…Peace.

    1. My friend Jason…you have me all wrong, I do not hate on the church nor it’s leadership. The church in its purest sense is the body/bride of Christ. What I do hate on is the arrogance of some in leadship that feel that they can speak as from Mount Sinai and thus destroy the flegling faith of others by loading them down with rules, regulations and ideas that are not Christian. My heart truly breaks for people in churches that still feel lost, unaccepted, and rejected all the while the church TALKS about love.
      You also know that I believe with all my heart that my sin and my brokeness is far greater than most people I know and if they were to know the depth of my sin I too would be rejected outright by most of the “holy ones” that fill church pews. It is not really their fault though because many in leadeship have taught them to judge their spiritual progress by what they do and not by what Jesus has done.
      I am just a broken “prophet” bringing to mind what is broken in the church….I am no one special.

  4. You know, not to be overly smug, but there are congregations that let you think, even help you think, and express yourself; where not everything is black and white; where God is bigger than just three issues; and where everybody gets accepted, regardless of what they believe.

    Just sayin’.

    elmwoodjesus.org 🙂

  5. Brother,

    You continue to show an amazing depth of being. and openness. I am blessed to have you as a brother.

    As you and I have discussed many times, you know that I share many of the same concerns.

    But I wonder if it was that you were lied to, or that you were a casualty of a largely ignorant church. Sure, some people knowingly hide their insecurities or lack of knowledge behind their iron wall of simplistic and shallow beliefs. But I would suggest that most do it unknowingly, or at least subconsiously.

    And really, to me, it is the result of a mind that is not being continually renewed; they accept basic propositions and maybe think one step further, but that’s it. And if you think about it, it is the same illness that has beset the contemporary American culture at large…. one effect of the wasteland left behind by the implosion of post modern thinking.

    So i guess what I’m tryin to say is that I have come to the conclusion that I was not lied too, I was just told some very simplistic answers. I am glad though, that God has proven just how deep His word is. I will be happy to spend my life swiming in His deep waters.

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