I haven’t been here in quite a while……I have some reasons. None, of course are really valid or profound. But in my absence I have come up with an idea, a thought that I hope would help other people such as myself, who struggle with their Christian life. When I say struggle I mean, really struggle. Here is just a sampling.
I struggle with…
…the church and it’s purpose, other than being annoying, frustrating, and generally plastic.
…the Bible and the hard things in it, not to mention the things that don’t make sense, that contradict, and confuse.
…other Christians that pretend to have it all together. You know the type, the “praise the Lord” pasted on smiling type that always have a scripture handy and dispense their wisdom like one of those old carnival fortune teller machines, never missing a beat with their “thank you Geeeeeezusssssssssss” prayers.
…my own failures, sins, and weaknesses that wrap tightly around me like the chains and weights the ghost of Jacob Marley (Scrooge’s business partner) dragged around after him for all eternity. They never go away, and each day I find new link.
…Finally, but I am sure not lastly, the doubts that nags me day and night about the reality of the Christian life. I question everything, I think, and ponder, and at times feel like I am going crazy because most of what I see in American Christianity does not make sense.
So now I am on a journey, a journey that I pray other people will join. I am going to share with you over the next six-eight months what I am discovering. I hope that at the end of that time I will be assured of what I so easily believed 25 years ago, but have now come to question.
If God is who He says He is then He will extend grace and mercy to me as I ask, seek, and knock.
Peace and grace to you my reader friend,
Marc Lee
Musings of a "not so good" Christian 
Marc,
I don’t blame you for questioning the value and the sincerity of the church and churches (and even church people to a certain extent). It is pretty apparent this is not the bride without spot-or-wrinkle that Jesus is returning for.
I grew up in church. When I went away to college, I pretty much stopped living for God. Sure, I would still go to church most Sundays, but I saw a lot of the plastic, “thank you, Geeezussss” Christianity you are talking about.
Then nine years ago, everything changed. I found a group of Christians who were not plastic and not fake and not perfect. But they were powerful in God and still are. I became one of them, and the link below tells the story.
(Feel free to remove the web link when you post the comment – I am not on a promotional tour)
http://chrisryser.wordpress.com/2009/08/14/where-have-i-been-all-this-time/
Chris